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I Wanted To Know How A Woman Becomes Sexy….So I Asked
The road to sexy for a lot of women can be as titillating as it is turbulent, but it’s still a road many have not traveled.
It had been a month since Sugar Cookie’s move to Miami and while she was unpacked, she was still emotionally sorting through so much. Mourning a former full time journalism career in her native New York in favor of sun, sand and water, building a new life and unfortunately, the loss of a lover.
I too was shedding the hope I had for a man. My ex, a Mississippian, shattered more than my heart and I was diligently doing the non-linear healing work of holding onto the lessons learned from our brief union and not the pain bestowed.
As an act of reclaiming our previous selves, the ones not besmirched by our misters, Sugar Cookie vowed revenge. “I’m finna be sexy,” she said defiantly of the forthcoming summer. “Make n — — s uneasy when I walk into a room.”
I supported her. The need to will an unexplainable confidence that metastasized from heartbreaking disappointment is a tale as old as time for women. However, in her proclamation I took issue with the verbiage.
Sexy.
I’ve never owned that word or felt it an accurate descriptor for myself so when Sugar Cookie employed it, it was triggering and made me pause…
